Two Weddings Back-to-Back

Having attended the wedding in Kota Bahru we have two more weddings to attend. One was for the daughter of Ram’s nephew in Kuala Lumpur (no pictures available yet) followed by the wedding of my nephew in Jawi, Penang. (Pictures of this wedding were posted earlier).

We received news of the KL wedding through sms and later received an invitation card. We would have appreciated it more and would be more responsive if Ram’s nephew had contacted us personally and perhaps discuss the wedding and its preparation. This was the wedding of an only daughter and the only child. At the very least they could have enlightened us on the preparation, the programme and if there was any need for input from us. Sms’ are too brief and impersonal and the invitation card just stated the date, time and place. The solemnization was on one evening and reception the next evening. That was all that we knew. We guessed then that the bride’s parents had everything thought of and can manage without our help, hence there was no need for us to ‘poke our nose into their business’, so to speak. We were just like any of his acquaintances or associates, not like family.

We had the wedding of my nephew in Jawi, Penang, with the solemnization ceremony on the same day as the reception for the KL wedding. We opted to be in Jawi and skip the KL reception, after all what was important was the solemnization ceremony for which we made a point to attend both, and on the assumption that Ram’s nephew do not really need us around except as guest in attendance. However, a couple of hours before the solemnization ceremony I received a phone call from the father of the bride requesting if I could be his spokesman during the ceremony. I would have gladly obliged but his spokesman for the engagement ceremony several months ago would be present for this solemnization ceremony and I thought he should continue to be the spokesman for continuity. We were not at the engagement ceremony (somehow they missed us) and were not sure of what transpired then.

Wedding solemnization ceremony is a mix of religious demands and cultural tradition. It is a formal affair and is a revered and holy occasion at the same time. Culture and tradition liven up the ceremony and add value to the ‘coming together’ and unison of two families. It is like a merger, one that should last for lifetimes of the families. These cultural and traditional values are now lost in the modern mainstream. Religious requirements however, are still adhered to as it is demanded and without which there is no wedding. Several elderly folks present at the ceremony, and also at the reception ceremony the next evening I was told, had ‘raised eyebrow’ and I am sure many amongst them had questions like “where are our heritage, our cultural values?” etc., running in their mind while observing the proceedings. Money and material wealth appear to have ruled their lives and taken over the wealth of culture and tradition.

The wedding of my nephew in the bride’s house in Jawi, Penang was also held over two days, starting with the solemnization ceremony held immediately after the late afternoon prayers in the local mosque. This ceremony followed the religious requirements as well as traditional practices. An afternoon tea reception followed in the bride’s house. The bride’s family then invited us to return later in the evening, i.e. after the late evening prayers for a barbeque session just so that the two families could meet, interact and acknowledge the unison of the two families. There was much exchange of light banter and pleasantries that we forgot time and left for our hotel soon after midnight. The actual wedding reception was held the following day at lunch time. The reception by the groom’s side was held two days ago in JB i.e. a week after the ceremony in Jawi. The bride’s family and relatives arrived the evening before the reception day and were received in a get together dinner session in the groom’s parent’s house before they proceeded to their hotel. The two families continued with the light, friendly banter and pleasantries and by now the two families were like old friends. There was all round camaraderie and friendliness. The cultural and traditional practices do play big roles in making this camaraderie happen.

The actual wedding reception was held in the afternoon of the next day. Friends and families gathered together and the bride’s families present interacted with the JB families and guests. There was a lot of fun and laughter amidst an informal setting. I believe everyone enjoyed themselves meeting up with friends and relatives. I met a distant cousin whom I have not met since I was in primary school and another cousin that I have not met for many years! It was indeed very pleasant……….

MKI Ramblings Unlimited
Petaling Jaya