An Annual Family Gathering

I am the eldest in a family of ten siblings comprising of four boys and six girls. My mum, as have appeared in my previous postings, is still active at 85 years old. My sister, the second sibling, and her family live with mum in the south. So she has company while having freedom to do her own thing. In addition most of my other siblings live in the south too except for three of us who live in Petaling Jaya, Kuala Terengganu and Malacca. Whatever it is, we are not too far away from her, as it is only a few hours drive for us to meet up with her. Other than that, wherever we may be we are only a phone call away from her. I, on my part keep regular contact with her, especially when I am unable to personally meet up with her.

It has been the tradition, started by my late father, for all ten siblings, their children and grandchildren to gather together on the 3rd. day of Syawal during the Eid’l Fitri celebrations. We would allocate some funds for the function and have the gathering in a hall somewhere, sometime in a hotel, and some others in a large restaurant with a large enough private hall, depending on which location is available with the most appropriate cost effectiveness. The number of attendees has grown over the years to more than a hundred. A gathering of four generations really.

24 years ago, my late father and my mother called upon all of us to form an association, a grouping where we collect funds and save for the benefit of the family. All of us responded positively to this call then. Mum suggested a small figure that everyone contributes monthly to the kitty or pool but all of us spontaneously agreed to contribute double the amount monthly. The fund is to be invested and we were to institute some sort of thrift and loan procedure. We were to have proper accounting, organized and formalized committees. We were to meet regularly and once a year holds a gathering of all, to be organized by the children with supervision of one of the elder siblings in rotation. Each family were to present something at the gathering, a play, or a song, or a pantomime or whatever, to encourage the children on staged performances. All these plans made by my father went well over the years. It has brought the family close, very close, and the cousins, second cousins get along with each other very well, all aware and proud that they belong to a big family group.

When we started the kitty, only six of us were married and there were only a number of children. Now, all of the siblings are married, and the tenth sibling, my youngest sister, has eleven children of her own. Many of us siblings have grandchildren of our own too. It was decided recently that the monthly contribution be reviewed downwards as many of us siblings are either retired or retiring very soon and that the children are also going on in age and the grandchildren are growing big enough to take over soon. Hence the contribution structure was reviewed to accommodate this change in time and situation, but the main constitution with its preconditions remain unchanged with a view to keep the grouping intact.

Each annual gathering was a scene of fun and laughter, with the antiques of the young ones on stage. They play games, they sing, do short acting stints, read poem, and so on. The gathering this year was no different than the others. We gathered at 8pm on the third day of Eid’l Fitri, starting with a group photograph session and individual family photo session. Then came the speech by the patron, that’s mum of course, giving her advice and encouragement, followed by study excellence award to the children who passed exams meritoriously. Dinner started then while family presentations and performances were held. Games for the little ones, the young ones and others were also held. Somewhere in between a speech by the group chairman was called upon. That’s me. I am the chairman ‘by default’ being the eldest!! My speech of course centered on the activities throughout the year, the collection and disbursement of funds and what is planned in the coming year. Although the committee meets, and a general meeting is held, it is imperative that the message of maintaining the association active be made to all, and this is the occasion when all are present. The gathering ended at just about midnight with one of the young ones reading the closing do’a or prayers .

I am satisfied that these gatherings have in a way taught the children to support each other, help each other, work in a group for a common goal, give and take, planning and organization, stage presentation, public speaking, finance control and many other organizational benefits. There are hiccups and minor issues to be dealt with but these are not obstructive to the progress of the grouping and can be addressed positively. My late father had a very far sighted view indeed. If only he is alive now to see how his plans have materialized, he would be beaming with pride just as mum is now.……

MKI Ramblings Unlimited,
Petaling Jaya