More on Happiness

A happiness story I received from a friend in another forum:

A 92-year-old, petite, well-poised man, who is fully dressed each morning by eight o’clock, with his hair fashionably coiffed and after-shaved perfectly applied, even though he is legally blind, moved to a nursing home today. His wife of 70 years recently passed away, making the move necessary. After many hours of waiting patiently in the lobby of the nursing home, he smiled sweetly when told his room was ready.

As he maneuvered his walker to the elevator, I provided a visual description of his tiny room, including the eyelet sheets that had been hung on his window.

"I love it," he stated with the enthusiasm of an eight-year-old having just been presented with a new puppy.

"Sir, you haven't seen the room; just wait."

"That doesn't have anything to do with it," he replied ."Happiness is something you decide on ahead of time. Whether I like my room or not doesn't depend on how the furniture is arranged ... it's how I arrange my mind. I already decided to love it. It's a decision I make every morning when I wake up. I have a choice; I can spend the day in bed recounting the difficulty I have with the parts of my body that no longer work, or get out of bed and be thankful for the ones that do”.

Each day is a gift, and as long as my eyes open I'll focus on the new day and all the happy memories I've stored away. Just for this time in my life.

Old age is like a bank account. You withdraw from what you've put in.

So, my advice to you would be to deposit a lot of happiness in the bank account of memories. Thank you for your part in filling my Memory bank. I am still depositing.

Remember the five simple rules to be happy:
1. Free your heart from hatred.
2. Free your mind from worries.
3. Live simply.
4. Give more.
5. Expect less.

MKI Ramblings Unlimited
Petaling Jaya

The Meaning of Happiness and Life

Happiness. What is that? The dictionary says contentment, pleasure, joy, glee and so on. Do you live the day happy? Or do you look forward to something in the close distance to be happy? A friend in one forum sent something on this recently and I quote some of it here:

We convince ourselves that life will be much better after we are married, have a baby and perhaps another, then we get frustrated that our baby or babies are not big enough, and that things will get better when they are older…..

Then we get frustrated because they grow into adolescence and we have to deal with them. Surely we will be happier when they grow out of their teen years…..

We tell ourselves that life will get better when our spouse get his/her act together, when we have a new car, when we can take a vacation, when we finally retire…….

The truth is…. there is no better time to be happier than right now. If not now then when? Your life will be full of challenges. It is better to admit as much and decide to be happy in spite of it all….

For the longest time, it seems that life is about to start, real life. But then there were obstacles along the way, hindrances, some time to be given, some work to be finished, a bill to be paid, then life would start. But I finally came to understand that those obstacles were life, real life……

That point of view helped me see that there are no roads to happiness. Happiness IS the road….

So, enjoy the moment. Stop waiting for that moment, for school to end, for school to begin, to gain ten pounds, to lose ten pounds, for work to start, for Friday evening, for Sunday morning, waiting for that new car, for that new house, for mortgage(s) to be paid, for spring, for summer, for autumn, for winter, for the first or the fifteenth of the month, for your song to be played on the radio, to die, to be reborn ……. Before deciding to be happy…..

Happiness is a voyage not the destination. There is no better time to be happy than now, so live the life, enjoy the moment ………

Can you answer these five questions without reference:
Name five richest men in the world,
Name last five Miss Universe
Name the last ten best actor awards recipients
Name ten Nobel Prize winners

Cannot answer them? Rather difficult are they not?
Applause dies away, trophies gather dust, awards are soon forgotten…….

Now, try answering these:

Name three teachers who contributed to your education
Name three friends who helped you in your hour of need
Name three people who make you feel special
Name five people you like to spend time with

More manageable? A lot easier are they not?

The people who mean something in your life are not rated “the best”, do not have the most money, and have not won the greatest prizes. They are the ones who care about you, take care of you, those who, no matter what, stay close by……

Think about it for a moment……. Life is very short
And you……. In which list are you in?

You are not amongst the most ‘famous’ but one who remembers me and read this…..

Some time ago, nine young athletes, all mentally or physically challenged, were standing on the start line for a 100 meter race.

The gun fired and the race began. Not everyone was running but everyone wanted to participate and win.

They ran in threes, one tripped and fell, did a few somersaults and started crying….. all the other participants slowed down, looked behind them. They stopped and came back…. all of them…..

A girl with Down’s syndrome sat down next to him, hugged him for a while and asked, “Feeling better now?” Then all of them walked shoulder to shoulder to the finish line……

The whole crowd stood up and applauded…. loudly. And the applause lasted a very long time……

…… hmmmmm a teardrop in the eye there now eh!!…..

People who witnessed this still talk about it. Why? Because deep down inside us, we all know that the most important thing in life is much more than winning for ourselves. The most important thing in life is to help others to win as well, even if that means slowing down or changing our race.

“A candle loses nothing if it is used to light another”

My simplistic view in life and happiness……… I wonder and I continue to ponder……

MKI Ramblings Unlimited
Petaling Jaya

Friday Congregation and Prayers

It is Friday, the day when we gather in a congregation for the weekly prayers. We were reminded that Ramadan is coming to an end, only five days left to be exact. We were asked whether we have truly observed the requirements of Ramadan. There is still time to recoup and recover, to seek repentance on past mistakes and sins, to devote full attention and supplication to HIM, the Almighty, who is ever forgiving and ever merciful. There is still time to intensify efforts and offer ones devotion to him in these remaining days of Ramadan and continue performing all obligatory prayers and other practices to HIM, lest one go hungry and thirsty in vain. There are many reminders. No need for the weekly Friday sermon to be reminded. The mass media runs many daily programmes related to Ramadan and even the cell phone service providers send daily reminders and short messages to individual cell phones (I receive it daily) on the virtues of the various prayers during Ramadan. We stand reminded!!

We spend the daylight hours fasting, going without food and drinks, and abstain from most other worldly pleasures, but we are free to indulge in them at night. However the night time is also the time where we are obligated to devote more prayers, to read the Quran and do other religious deeds. As I mentioned in one of my previous posts, the last ten days of Ramadan are very important days and nights for those who know and who seek that one night that is equivalent to a thousand Ramadan. As the remaining days in Ramadan get less and less, the worries that one is not or has not done enough gets more and more. I seek guidance and solace from the Almighty, that my deeds had been fruitful and that I have been steered in the right path.

Soon, all will be rejoicing in the celebration of Eid’lFitri. It is something that all are looking forward to, especially the children, my grandchildren included. The two bigger boys are looking forward to their trip back to PJ, to Tok Bah’s house for hari raya they say. The joys of Eid’lFitri will be all the more meaningful if one had consciously spent the one month in the true spirit of Ramadan. May HE, the Almighty, the Most Gracious and the Most Merciful, guide us and show us the right path always………..

MKI Ramblings Unlimited
Petaling Jaya

The Passing Of A First Lady

The whole nation has been in mourning since yesterday with the passing away of the First Lady, the wife of the Prime Minister, early yesterday morning. She was 64 and had been fighting breast cancer since a few years ago. Her twin sister also had the same ailment and had passed away in 2003.

The final rights and funeral were performed yesterday with her being finally put to rest in the evening just before the break of fast. Throughout the day the official residence of the Prime Minister were packed with people, from Royalties, dignitaries and officials to the ordinary man on the street, who came to pay their last respect to the ‘stoic’ lady (to quote a reference made of her by her husband). Foreign dignitaries including Presidents and Prime Ministers, as well as representatives of foreign governments also came to pay their last respects. The roads leading to the residence were packed with cars, and the passageways leading to the main hall were fully packed with people. I see all these on TV as there was full media coverage of the proceedings. The Prime Minister himself was all the time a picture of composure, and was up and about receiving the dignitaries and visitors himself. Some of them breakdown when shaking his hand and he remained composed and consoled the visitors instead. I guess, being a very religious man and of high conviction towards the religion, he accepted this trial. Although looking pale and weary with grief he remained composed all the time.

It is a known fact that the Prime Minister and his wife was a very loving couple. I have seen them walking hand in hand to functions, not her hand on his arm but hand in hand. I have also seen him giving his wife a hug and a peck on the cheek when each was welcoming the other. It seems that they do this when they parted each day and meet again at the end of the day, how romantic. I know the First Lady’s younger brother, who was Ram’s classmate in college. He was a soft-spoken man, of even temperament and mannerism and pleasant to be with. I guess the same is of the elder sister. I read somewhere that she does not talk much but is always systematic and would pursue her passions with convictions, while the Prime Minister, being a politician talks a lot and is always full of ideas. The opposites attract, I suppose. I also read somewhere that their first date, before they were married some four decades ago, was to attend a recital of the Holy Book, the Quran, and he, being religiously trained and in upbringing, translated the Arabic verses for her. I also think that the Prime Minister is a very passionate man. He once read a poem, not too long after he became the Prime Minister, which demonstrated his passion and love as a religious man. This poem was reproduced in a local newspaper and I reproduce it here (I assume having been printed in the newspapers, it is now in public domain) as I find it very inspiring:

I seek the peace within
I seek not riches untold
To live a life of luxury;
I seek not millions
To live a life of plenty;
I seek not friends so many
To live a life of profligacy;
I seek he who is Al-Ghazali
I seek he who is Al-Shafie
To unravel the secrets in the Holy Book
Seeking Inspiration
To unravel the secrets in the ways of the Prophet
Seeking guidance
I live only for HIM, my Lord
He is my Companion
He is my Guardian
He suffices
I live a life full of meaning
Immersed in the peace within

May peace be with this man, who is a fine example of a loving husband, a caring father and an upright man, a popular politician and statesman, and for his dearly departed, may the blessings of the Almighty be with her and may her soul be placed amongst the esteemed. I continue to seek the guidance of the Almighty and may HE be pleased…….

MKI Ramblings Unlimited,
Petaling Jaya

Devote and Commit

I happened to ‘bump’ into an old friend while waiting for prayer time at the City Centre Mosque. I have not met this friend for a very very long time. We were in the same class for two years in primary school, that was when we were about 10 or 11 years old. I think he moved away from that school after that two years and we did not meet since. I recognized him straightaway, as he is quite a popular figure being a writer and a political critic, most of the time swaying to the opposition side and a pain in the ???? to the ruling party!! I have read some of his books and in a way followed his career, hence I knew and recognized him. What surprised me was that he recognized me too in spite of not having met each other for about half a century!! He remembered my nickname too but took quite sometime before he could recall my full name.

We had many questions for each other and squeezed some pertinent ones for the time being, as prayer time was near, and reserved the others with a promise to meet up again sometime soon. He lives in an area far outside of the city, mountainous and heavily wooded, and where many rich and famous locals have resorts and holiday bungalows. For him though, that is his permanent residence. A very nice place for a writer to be living in, nevertheless. He has not gone back to his childhood home or village as there are no family members there now. When I told him that I do go back quite regularly, almost monthly, and that my mum is still living and active, he was surprised. He said how lucky I was and that I should take the opportunity to ‘devote and commit’. He does not have that same opportunity I have anymore he said. Just then the call for prayers was made and we got ready for prayers. After prayers I tried to look for him but he was gone. Ah well, I thought, I can try to meet up with him again some opportune days later.

Devote and Commit, he said. That saying played in my mind for the rest of the day and the days following. It was said in relation to my mum being still alive. My mum is now 85 years old, 86 come November. She lives in the south, and my sister and her family lives with her. She is still active, although slow in movements but very much active. She still keeps account as treasurer of a cooperative, active in Women Institute, a local gathering of women, and also in the local committee of the women’s wing of the ruling political party. She keeps herself busy while maintaining increased devotion to the Almighty. She is a real wonder for us who are much younger than her, who lament and complain over the slightest pain in our body parts, and the lack of time to do anything and everything. I said these things to my friend and that was when he said that I should devote and commit.

Pondering over the devote and commit comment I took it as a reminder that I should devote more of my time to my mum and that I should commit myself to her wellbeing. In deed it was a sincere advice and comment from a good friend. I begin to recall some of the sayings of the Holy Prophet (PBUH) on the virtues of service to one’s own mother, from whose bosom one obtained nourishment as a baby, and from whom one learnt those simple and complex things in life while growing up, like the learning to turnover, surge, crawl, stand up and walk to the everyday problems at home, at school, with relationships, friends, the opposite sex, and so on. Mother provided all the protection and the comfort you needed when you were growing up as a child, as adolescent and beyond. These provisions were immense and unquantifiable. The Holy Prophet (PBUH) was once asked by a companion to which living person shall one pay the highest devotion and he replied your mother. He was asked again and he again replied your mother, three times before he said your father. So, I understood the comment of my friend. Heaven, they say is at the feet of your mother. Never say unkind words to your mother, not even the slightest reproach, lest you are considered a traitor betraying her. On the contrary, mother has to be held in high esteem always. Another companion of the Holy Prophet (PBUH), who collects goats’ milk daily from his herd, will not drink the milk, nor gives it to his family, before his mother drinks. Once when he reached his mother’s house on the way home bringing the milk, he waited for his mother to wake up from sleep, and then gave her the milk. He did not wake her, neither did he just left the milk for her. He waited until she woke up on her own and made sure that his mother has had the drink before going home. There are many sayings of the Holy Prophet (PBUH) and similar mother stories showing examples of devotion and commitment to ones mother. I began to realize then the value of that simple comment from my friend and was indeed thankful to him.

I do not think I have devoted enough nor committed enough to my mother. Yes, I do visit her once in a while, I do call her on the phone now and then, when I have to travel somewhere I will tell her, when I return I will also tell her. But I do not think they are enough. I have to do more. Call more often, find out her needs and attend to them as best I can. She will wake up each morning wondering how her children, her grandchildren and great grandchildren are doing, just as I wonder how my children and grandchildren are doing. She will worry when she hears that one of us is sick just as I worry when I hear any of my children or grandchildren is sick. I may live far away from her but, as they say, no matter how far away one is, one is only a phone call away. If only my mum can operate a laptop or computer…….. hmmmmm…. wishful thinking ……..

MKI Ramblings Unlimited,
Petaling Jaya

Mum - 86 this November

Ramadan - The Second Half

Ramadan is now almost half way through. The daily activities has now become routine and automatic in a way, that is wake up at specific times for the pre-fasting meal, dawn prayers, the daily chores or career obligations, or errands and/or whatever you do on normal daylight hours, noon prayers and after noon prayers, prepare for the breaking of fast, the dusk prayers, after dusk prayers and the special Ramadan prayers either at home or in a congregation in a mosque. Eating time is at night and fasting during daylight hours, the reverse of the other months.

The special Ramadan prayers that is done in a congregation in a mosque, called the Terawikh, is usually performed twenty times each night but many performed only eight. Over the years and as far back as I can remember, people have been debating on this twenty or eight issue. To me, eight or twenty does not matter. The sincerity in performing it, in the way of the Almighty governs. If it is performed in order to show your rights over the issue then to me it is as good as not performing it at all. After all the call of this prayer is as an obligation not a compulsion. Performing them, eight or twenty, in a congregation, or in a mosque is also not a compulsion. But it is called for nevertheless. So, just do it with sincerity and in full submission to HIM, either at home or better still in the mosque and even better still in a congregation. It is as simple as that……

Take stalk of the last two weeks. What have we, as good disciple (if we strive to be good disciples) contributed and achieved in the last two weeks? It was said that the Almighty does not recognise the fast of a man if he only fast to be just hungry and thirsty. HE does not accept the fast of a man if he goes hungry and thirsty and yet his tongue does not refrain from saying bad things (bad in all manner of speeches and intentions), refrain from unsavoury behaviours, refrain from wasting time, efforts, money on things not in HIS way. It is also said that if others attempt to persuade you astray, or fight you, or attempt to anger you, say “I am fasting” twice. It does not mean you are weak. It also means you are more afraid of HIM than mere mortals. The unpleasant breath of a fasting man is to HIM sweeter than the smell of musk or perfume. Indeed HIS bounty will be limitless for those who strive to gain more than just being hungry and thirsty, for the spending of his waking hours in full obligation to HIM, seeking HIS rewards and compassion. Have we adhered to HIS commandments in the last two weeks? If not will we change in the next two weeks? It is said that Ramadan is the month for HIS disciples, for them to devote all energies and supplications to HIM. We only have two more weeks of it and we may not live long enough to meet the next Ramadan. So what is the decision now?.........

As I was growing up I was told that one should strive to spend one’s waking hours in the way of the Almighty, seek HIS forgiveness before going to sleep and be thankful on waking up that one had survived and be allowed another day. And in the month of Ramadan, one should amplify one’s effort as His bounty is also amplified. The doors to Hell are kept closed while the doors to Heaven are kept wide open in this month. All praises be for the Almighty that by HIS grace alone I could endure and fulfill my obligations. That what I had planned and set out to do, I did, and with ease that only HIS guidance could have made it possible.

The next two weeks calls for even greater sacrifices and with it greater dependence on HIS protection against worldly temptations and daily demands of life, in this so-called modern living. The last ten nights of Ramadan is especially important in that we are encouraged to enliven the nights with full submission and devotion to him in prayers and supplications, in glorifying and offering praises to HIM and HIS prophets, in meditation and contemplation, in recitation of the Holy Book, the Book of guidance for all mankind and in repentance for all past misdeeds. Of these ten nights there is one night that is most special but which night of the ten is not known to us mortals. The bounty promised is said to be equivalent to a thousand Ramadan. Therefore it is safe enough to concentrate on all the nights, ten nights for a thousand months. I submit to HIM most humbly for HIS continued blessings, to confer onto me good health, strength, the right frame of mind, to make full use of the opportunities available in the next two weeks and also able to enliven the last ten nights with ease. I pray for HIS continued guidance therefore and I willingly submit to HIM….

MKI Ramblings Unlimited,
Petaling Jaya

My Former Workplace

We traveled again through the last weekend. This time we drove about 600 kilometers to Sita’s house in the East Coast. I had an appointment with one of the Managers in my former workplace, the one where I retired from, and took the opportunity to spend time and a few days with Sita and family.

The drive, to and fro, was very pleasant. There was hardly any traffic and we had a very leisurely drive. Little Najla was excited when we arrived at just after dusk and at about breaking of fast time. (It is Ramadan now, a month for fasting. Read my previous posting on Fasting). Najla continued to play with us until late. We could see that she was straining to keep awake and refused to go to sleep. On our second night there, Ram took her to bed, switched off the lights while Najla continued to play and finally fell asleep. But when she awoke about 2 hours later she was screaming for her mother, apparently wanting to be fed.

I went to my former workplace alone. Ram decided to stay back in Sita’s house as I had planned to make a day trip. It’s a two and a half to three hours drive further north from Sita’s house and about 30 kilometers north of Kuala Terengganu. The drive to and fro was again pleasant. Not much traffic on the road. Has Ramadan got anything to do with this? I wonder……..

My last workplace is a technical training institute. I was heading it before I retired. The person who took over from me has also recently retired and another former colleague is now heading the institute, having been transferred there from the Education Division of the parent company. It looks like he too will retire from there.

The institute is located in an area of about 200 acres and consists of several buildings housing the various technical training workshops and centers of most of the engineering discipline. There are also hostels and living quarters for trainees. Courses conducted are mostly short courses in skill and management development meant for technical staff, technicians and engineers working in the various operating units and subsidiaries of the parent company. Concentration is on the oil, gas and petrochemicals engineering disciplines, although other skill development programmes like IT, languages and others are also included. I had a very pleasant experience working here and it was a good ‘round-off’ of my career having been involved in manufacturing, operations, safety management, project development and project management in my career progression. In the course of it all I was also involved in various audits, systems and procedures development, group skills identification and core skill competency development programmes, the results of which were tied up with the courses conducted at the institute. Hence, my final posting before retiring was a cap of all that I went through in my career. It was indeed satisfying especially where I felt that I was giving back the experience I gained to the younger generation in the company.

I had a noon appointment with one of the sector heads of the institute, specifically the Head of the Executive Technical Competency Development. I left Sita’s house early in the morning and took a leisurely drive to the place. I arrived at the gate of the institute half an hour early. There was only a lone, young, security guard at the guardhouse. He obviously did not recognize me and enquired where I was going. I told him of my appointment and he asked for my name and to wait while he made a phone call to the office of my host. He later told me that my host was at a meeting. I was to wait until the meeting was over and he was very abrupt. Soon after, his phone rang and I could imagine the conversation that transpired. He had immediately then requested me to proceed and even gave directions to which building and which part of it to go to. His tone of voice and mannerism belied his earlier stance when I had just arrived!! I was not even given a temporary entry pass, a normal practice for visitors to any of the operating units and offices of the company anywhere in the country. Or, was this practice no longer applied in the institute now, I wonder? It was applied when I was there!! He was truly a young man wanting in experience in dealing with the public. I was not looking for recognition nor special treatments. He could have been more polite in the beginning even though it was his responsibility to scrutinize external visitors.

As I parked my car in the parking lot close to the building that I was directed to, another security guard who was on his rounds of the sprawling complex on a motorcycle passed by, recognized me and stopped for a quick chat. Then on, anywhere I went to, I was greeted by all levels of staff that recognized me. All came to shake my hand and had small talk. In response I enquired about their general health, their work, their family and so on. After meeting my host and discussed what we had to discuss I went around to other parts of the complex to meet other staff and also made courtesy and ‘hello’ calls to my current successor and other managers. My current successor was chairing an internal meeting with his managers when his secretary (my former staff too) told him that I was there. He took a short break of the meeting so that they could meet me. Some even came looking for me having been told by others that I was around. Most regretted that I came in Ramadan as they could not serve me anything (I could have been overfed if not for Ramadan!!). Most of the ladies enquired about Ram, asked how she was coping with her eye condition and one or two of them gave something for me to take to her, a very nice gesture on their part. It had been six years since I left the place and memories flood back. It was indeed pleasant. I had planned for an hour there but ended staying for more than three hours with them taking me around moving from one office to another!! All these pleasant and instantaneous responses were a far cry from the first interaction I had with the guard on arrival. Entry point and front office staff provides first impression of the place. If properly handled visitors will feel more comfortable and welcomed. I was lucky though, as the welcome was so overwhelming that it overshadowed and drowned the first impression………..

MKI Ramblings Unlimited
Petaling Jaya

In Bintulu with the Grandchildren

Son Shaffik had to be away from Bintulu for about a week on work assignment. At the same time Air Asia had a promotion and we managed to get cheap tickets to Bintulu. Hence we ended up traveling to Bintulu while Shaffik went away for his work assignment. It was a trip we gladly took up as it has been quite a while since we spent time with the grandchildren.

Babang and Dedek were very excited when meeting us at the airport on our arrival. Babang even tried to help us with the luggage……. And we know his motive… ah hem…. I think the anticipation got the better of him and finally asked, when almost reaching the house, what it was we had in the big bag. I just nonchalantly replied that there are only clothing in the bag. Is that all? He asked and I replied yes, that’s all. He did not show any sign of disappointment though. I guess he has learnt not to take my answers seriously now!! Again he was very helpful when we reached the house. Not to prolong their agony of waiting, we opened the bags and let them have the toys and chocolates we brought for them. Even baby Haadieya Hasya was excited. So start the din in the house with the kids playing with their new toys…… baby Haadieya is now able to stand up by holding on to available supports. She will lift her hands up every time we pass by expecting to be picked up and carried. She is rather quiet though and not boisterous like the elder brothers. She smiles a lot and opened her mouth wide often almost every time when she smiles.

I spend the days sending Babang to his playschool in the mornings and fetching him back at just after noon. Dedek will follow most of the time. After sending Babang in the mornings, we will go for our morning exercise in the park by the seaside and again later in the evenings. The two boys would follow us and will usually end up playing with sand at the beach. One day, we sent Babang to his playschool without Dedek as he wanted to see his favourite cartoon programme. After our exercise we decided to have breakfast at one of the local cafes. On reaching home, Dedek as usual rushed to the car, opened Ram’s door and hugged her. He does this on our return whenever he does not follow us. But this time, he hugged Ram, then wiggled his nose and said:

Dedek: Dedek can smell something……
Tok Mi: What smell?
Dedek: Tok Mi got smell of something……
Tok Mi: Tok Mi smell of what?
Dedek: Haaa …. (With forefinger pointing upwards)….Smell of roti canai shop!!! (that’s the café we went to which was selling amongst the foodstuff, roti canai, a local delicacy, made of bread dough that is flattened thin and pan fried. It is usually taken with dhall curry. Dedek happens to like roti canai very much and can eat three pieces at one sitting!!)

We were indeed surprised. He must have a very strong sense of smell. We did not even have roti canai there!! Perhaps the smell of roti canai being fried stuck to our clothings…
So we think that is perhaps the reason why he kept hugging us whenever we return from an outing, to guess where we have been to….. heh heh…. difficult to keep secrets from this little guy……

MKI Ramblings Unlimited
Petaling Jaya

Little Haadieya......anticipating to be carried... 

Hi Tok Bah.... what are you doing? 

Hey guys, lay off please, this is my show...