The Passing Away of An Uncle

While I was in Kota Bahru to attend to a wedding of Ram’s grandnephew, I received a call that one of my paternal uncles, was in a serious condition in the Johore Bahru hospital. He was being prepared for an emergency operation. He had colon cancer and had been operated on about a week earlier but requires to have this operation procedure done for some reason or other. He was 71 years old.

The last time I met this uncle of mine was about a month ago, the day before Ram and I left for Sydney, at a wedding of one of my cousins, his niece. He was his usual jovial and joking self. He did intimated to me a week before this that he has some problems with his bowels and its movements. He has seen the doctor and the doctor advised him to go for detailed test to identify the problem. I agreed with him that he should proceed. If at all there is anything, it is better to find out what it is and then attend to it, rather than wait and allow the condition to worsen further. Later, after coming back from Sydney, I was told that he had to undergo an operation to remove a cyst or growth or something at his intestines. It was later discovered that he had colon cancer. Since then his condition worsened and he had been in and out of hospital. He did not recover fully from the operation and finally ended up in the Intensive Care (ICU) for close monitoring and supervision. On my way back from Kota Bahru, I was on the phone off and on with kinfolks in JB to keep abreast with his condition. The message I got was that his condition was bad, very bad. I prayed to the Almighty to lessen his sufferings and heal whatever his ailment was.

The day after returning from Kota Bahru, I went down to Johore Bahru alone by bus to visit my uncle. Ram was rather tired after the journey and as her sisters were still around to keep her company, I decided to go it alone. I left the house at 6.30 am by train to the bus terminal and managed to catch the 7.30 bus to JB. On arrival, my brother picked me up at the bus station and we went straight to the hospital. My uncle looked drawn out, worn out and thinning. I know that he is a fighter. He is using whatever strength he has to withstand and overcome his ailment. My brother told me that two days earlier, he signaled to my brother to come closer and whispered to him to ask everyone to go home, that he wants to rest!! But when I saw him he could not talk anymore, although he recognized and acknowledged me when I called out to him. He was on a ventilator, I think, and with various tubes and probes in his body connected to various machines around him one beeping, another wooshing, and yet another harping on. I spent about half an hour with him. He could not speak so I spoke for him and he either nodded or shook his head as appropriate in response. His throat was moving and I asked whether he was praying and he nodded, and I said I will continue to pray for him. He was not in pain he said and I asked “really?” and he nodded. His hands were cold, so also his feet but the upper part of his body was warm. I continued the small talk with him telling him of general things with the family, who is doing what, goes where, etc. Before leaving I wished him well, offered prayers for a while for him to follow, and told him that we all continue to pray for him. It was very sad for me to leave him and he being in that condition while there was nothing I could do to help. I felt depressed and sad, and seek the Almighty’s forgiveness on his behalf, seek His bestowment of goodness to alleviate his sufferings, and to continue on his path with ease. Under these circumstances it was only such prayers we could offer. Being in hospital and in the ICU at that, there is no better place to be then. I left with the hope that the best treatment could be offered by the hospital staff for him, to help him fight through……. And I prayed………

From the hospital my brother and I went straight to Mum’s house. My sister was also at home. The main topic of our chat was of course our uncle. They said they knew nothing of his condition until the day he had to undergo the emergency operation. It was not like him to tell people of his problems. Even his children, most of who are on their own now, did not know of his condition. He did tell me earlier, but that too in brief statements and that he was ok, nothing to worry about and could handle it. Mum, being the eldest amongst our kinfolks, were always referred to in family matters and was indeed surprised that she too did not know of my uncle’s condition until he was found to be in very critical condition. Just like your father she said (this uncle is the younger brother of my late father)……..

I took the 6.00 pm bus to go back to PJ and I arrived home at just before midnight. For the next two days I was on the phone often to find out the condition of my uncle. I was scheduled to fly to Bintulu last Saturday and just before leaving I again called JB and learnt that my uncle’s condition had worsened further since the morning. He was not acknowledging people and was oblivious to all that’s going on around him. He was just on the connected life supports. On Sunday morning at 4.30am he passed away. I was informed but I was already in Bintulu. I could only offer prayers for him. My brother kept me informed of the funeral preparations and what goes on until burial. May the Almighty bless him, provides him peace and serenity and place him amongst the chosen ones in His paradise.

MKI Ramblings Unlimited
Petaling Jaya